just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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