dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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