I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
