i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
