It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
