I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
