Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize