you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
we should paint friendship bongs
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