I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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