508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
