I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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