i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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