2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Just high enough for therapy.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
