Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
And the cops told us we were all naked.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
