so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
