Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
