Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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