We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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