rhymes with "ouble enetration"
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
