she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Congratulations! We have a period
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