does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
