To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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