I must be too annoying 4 u.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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