I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
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