you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
