Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize