I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
