I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
