Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
