one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
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Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
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Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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