Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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