White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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