Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
