I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
