I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
and you fell through a lawn chair
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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