Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
