Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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