i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
my being single is dangerous.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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