I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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