So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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