the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
