My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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