Ambien. No doubt about it.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
