it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
