We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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