I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
