It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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