either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize