kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
