Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
