Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
