I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
