Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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