Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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