What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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