I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize