my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize