she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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